“Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can”
Arthur Ashe (1943-1993)
African-american tennis player and AIDS victim
Bula!
This is my second proper post and I have been contemplating all week on how to get this somewhere. As with anything I embark on, my demons have shrewd and scornful ways of getting back at me by sowing seeds of doubt. It’s natural (and frankly human) to second-guess yourself but I’ve learnt that if you don’t try, you can never possibly know the full scope of your potential. As Ali Abdaal puts it, “Treat everything like an experiment and make fear your compass to do things which scare you”. Viscerally, you know that it realises your highest self.
If you ever find yourself in a quicksand of ‘what-ifs’, ‘buts’, and ‘what-will-they-thinks’, summon the above quote, lay back and watch the mist and murk disappear as you spot a rope to pull you out. The starting line shows up, you learn ways to work with things you already own and to believe in your current skillset while keeping yourself open to learning more along the way.
I’ve even got it written in bold on my whiteboard. Heck! I’d tattoo it on my body if I could.
3 Things I Learnt This Week
The 37% Rule: How to make difficult decisions
Computers are the ideal machine. They work on predefined and predetermined programs. However, unlike humans, they lack emotions. Would you rather be a computer, making decisions based on algorithms? Or, a human whose decisions are for better (or worse), immensely swayed by emotions? (a double-edged dagger, if you ask me)
The 37% rule is simple. Computers use it to make decisions. For example, there are 100 options in a sequence. They pick the best one out of the first 37, reject all the options, and in the next 66, they use the best pick as a standard of comparison.
How do we even use this as humans in the real world?
Well, in the corporate world, job interviewers implement this to hire the creme-de-la-creme of the workforce.
You can even use it in your dating life: date 100 people. Reject the first 37, pick the best one and use them to assess the remaining 66. Commit to the first one that supersedes the best from the 37%. Does that sound practical? In hindsight, it is a bit of an ordeal and rather stringent for my liking but you don’t necessarily need to have 100 dates. Simply, shrink the sample size.
You can even use this rule when looking for a house or a car! Much more manageable for someone as indecisive as me.
Situationships: the bane of my existence
Have you ever been in one? I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
Am I exaggerating? Maybe. But in my defence, it is a shit show you do not want to attend- wine glasses shattering on the floor, chandeliers falling like apples, and fireworks that do not light up.
If you do not know what a situationship is, simply put, it is having a relationship with no commitment. A one-foot-in, one-foot-out sorta situation. A facade for ‘keeping options open’. Inevitably, one falls in too deep, while the other is irrevocably unattached. It is the worst emotional pot to stir and leaves bullet holes in your heart.
Anuv Jain has a song called Husn which sums it up perfectly. I watched his lyric breakdown a few days ago, and it sparked numerous epiphanies. He dives into the details of situationships and how he drew inspiration from his experience to write this viral hit.
Consistency: What going to the gym every day has taught me
I work out every day.
That may sound extreme but hear me out. I’m not a ‘Gym Rat’. I’m not trying to be the next Ronnie Coleman either. But in December, I decided that I’d make it a habit to go to the gym every single day. The way I have split it is that I do a bro split (push. pull, leg) and a rest day in between. On my rest day, I do some cardio and mobility exercises to supplement recovery and function.
Why am I telling you this?
I’m a skinny-fat 22-year-old Indo-Fijian man with average strength and aesthetics, but going to the gym every day has taught me the value of showing up.
Even if I only did 3 reps of 22 Kg on the Incline Dumbbell Press when I was supposed to do 12 reps, I’m happy knowing that I at least did something and that I showed up.
This is where a lot of people give up on their goals. They set unsustainable goals and give up because it is difficult to stay consistent.
Ergo, you need to choose goals which you can sustain and be consistent with.
A Podcast I Found Precious This Week
Delves into the lives and exploits of Girmit women- they used Guyana as a case study but I found it to be extremely relatable for Fijians in terms of finding an identity. It’s a must-listen.
A Song That Soothed Me
I recently rediscovered this gem. The 6-year-old me used to jam to this whenever we played Bhool Bhulaiya on DVD. I loved the movie. Major nostalgia.
In case you prefer the slowed and reverbed version on those lonely, rainy nights (You know what I’m talking about ; ) )
In pursuit of seeking discomfort and overcoming my fear of posting online, I am dropping some goals I have for this newsletter here. It may or may not come to fruition, but let’s put it out there to the universe, shall we?
1-year goal: 1k free subs, 100 paid subs
5-year goal: 100k free subs, 1k paid subs
MrBeast did something similar when he was starting on YouTube. He made a video where he set a goal of 1 million subscribers, and he made the video public when he did. Talk about manifesting!
Parting Question
What are 3 things you’re grateful for today?
Until Next Week,
Sary
P.S. Please leave answers to the question in the comments section. I would love to read them :) And do let me know what you thought of this week’s dispatch. I need your feedback to grow as a writer.
Things I'm grateful for:
1.My mother: she's always been a giver and is always ready to help others. I hope to become like her someday. I'm feeling homesick at the moment and missing her.
2. Having food on my table every day.
3.Being able to express my gratitude and realizing the importance of little things in life which greatly impacts us.
I am grateful for:
1. My friends - They are always there for me and have my back
2. My little sister - She doesn't know how much of a difference she makes in my life. I love her to bits
3. My aunt - I am away from home and she takes real good care of me